I Tried

I really want to send out Christmas cards for Christmas. I really honestly have every intention of doing it every year...but then something distracts me and before I know it, Christmas is over. After getting Anne from the City Sage's card in the mail, I am even more determined to get this done. So I started early on them to get them done before next Christmas! No excuses anymore! I plunked Jack and the Inchie down and started taking pictures. Please note that Furri O'Cious (the cat) was left out because she apparently had better things to do.

I really didn't think that it would take so long to get this pic. Little did I know...


...that the hat needs to be thoroughly inspected before a picture can be taken...

...as well as the dog...

...and my sleeve...

...and last but not least, the carpet....

...then we have a series of hat malfunctions...

...followed by an appearance from the ever distracting cat...

...that causes this "chase" to start...

...and I finally notice the red raspberries on his face from lunch...



...right before I snap this gem...red raspberries and all.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Yeah I know I am a little late but yesterday FLEW by! A yummy ham dinner followed by a tornado of wrapping paper, ribbons and squeals of delight. I love Christmas. Hope you all had a great holiday!

Clark: Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace.
Aunt Bethany: [turns to Lewis] What, dear?
Nora Griswold: Grace!
Aunt Bethany: Grace? She passed away thirty years ago.
Uncle Lewis: They want you to say Grace.
[Bethany shakes her head in confusion]
Uncle Lewis: The BLESSING!
Aunt Bethany: [they all pose for prayer] I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands/ One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Clark: Amen.


"Well I double-DOG-dare ya!"
"Now it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a "triple dare ya"? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare." "I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya!" "Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat!"
- Ralphie, Narrator and Schwartz in A Christmas Story

For anyone keeping count, Ralphie says he wants the Red Ryder BB Gun 28 times throughout the course of the movie. That’s approximately once every three minutes and 20 seconds.

We Won!

Friends Don't Let Santa Barf on Their Friends Lawn...

Oh it's that time of year again! The snow is falling outside, Christmas is right around the corner, holiday spirit is everywhere and ...wait...what the...STOP! TOO MUCH HOLIDAY SPIRIT! TOO MUCH SPIRIT!


Ok, so in all fairness this house is not across from us. The house across from us has this scheme going:They totally inspired this blog entry. However, we live in a very small town and I do not want to offend anyone by listing their house in the "Santa Barfed Here" category so that is really not their house. Close but not quite. If you feel my pain, you can check out Ugly Christmas Lights for more laughs...you know, to help get you in the Holiday Spirit.


(I dedicate this last pic to my older brother. You have to ask him for the whole Incredible Hulk story.)

Christmas Wish List: Me!

Christmas came early this year! My in-laws surprised me with a new Nikon D90 about two weeks ago. I had pretty much hijacked their camera for the last 4 months and I think they REALLY wanted it back. How excited am I?!?! Ecstatic! I am taking so many pictures right now that my I haven't had time to sort them out for blog ideas. Nothing is safe any more. Jack cringes when he sees me with it while Inchie sulks to her bed. Furri O'Cious is the only on that could care less. I love this camera.

Anyways, back to the list. Interesting things? The really pretty umbrella site I found. I love umbrellas. The bigger the better and these are big and pretty. The kiddy backpack...because Jack grew out of the one that Loran's Grandma got us and he REALLY LIKES backpacks. A 9x 13 baking dish, a new mixing bowl with covers, a desperately needed cute camera bag, and a $700 lens that I will never get but thought I would just throw out there. Because truly, I can never zoom in on Jack's boogers/food face enough. I am such a good mother.
Christmas List: Me! by mowe34
Oh I almost forgot. I need a new wallet too. I found a nice one on etsy but it just sold out last week..so this is the other one I found. In case Santa wanted to know.

Christmas Wish List: Jack!

What do you get a kid that wants to play with the wrapping paper that you wrapped his toy with rather than the toy? The quest is on! Here is what I came up with.

Screw the wooden horse! We want a life-size baby triceratops! I am pretty sure it poops and moos...or whatever sound a baby triceratops would make.
Jack will be have to fight his Uncle Jeremy over this Colorform Playset. It comes with 9 gremlins, 3 plastic bottles of beer, and one principal sitting at his desk with his face eaten off. Why do people forget that this is a horror movie?

I have to start perfecting my "Chewie Wookiee Cookies" and "Princess Leia Danish Dos" now if I want to be the best mom ever.


Oh FAO Schwartz, we are in the middle of an economic crisis but I am so thankful that you are still selling a man-size Tyrannosaurus Rex for a measly $562. Yes! Now how can I get him not to eat the baby Triceratops?

Because freedom costs a buck o' five...

Just kidding. These really aren't the toys for Jack. Just hilarious items that I ran across while making his list. Unfortunately, LJ just called and reported that he is going to buy the T. Rex because it is only $500! Thank god I didn't put any links. Anyways, here are the real items Jack would LOVE for Christmas.


Christmas List: Jack! by mowe34


Building blocks, play animals, a book, pull-wiener dog (because Inchie does NOT play that game), some wooden animals, a laminated mat for him to eat on, and a temperal-artery thermometer. I haven't had to take his temperature yet and this would make the job SOOOO much easier. He thanks you so very much!

Christmas Wish List: LJ Pimpin'

Everybody in blogland seems to be sharing their Christmas List sooooo I figured why not us? My mom has been after me for our Christmas Lists anyways and I am all about killing two birds with one stone. Here is what we want Santa...starting with the husband.


What do you get a wood-working-custom-window-making-drummer? You can see my diliema. My husband is impossible to shop for. I have been asking him for the last month about what he wants and I always get the same most impossible answer. "A early 1960's Slingerland Silver Sparkle Bass drum" he replies in a very Ralphie-from-the-Christmas-Story tone of voice. Great. Where in the hell do you get a 1960's Slingerland Silver Sparkle Bass drum? If anybody finds one for under $400, let me know. Without further ado, I present, LJ's Christmas Wish List!

Christmas Wish List: LJ by mowe34

Linus is Going to Be Jealous...

...of Jack and his sweet new blanket for his stroller. The best part, I did not have to bust out the sewing machine. The worst part, I still can't sew. Bahhhh! Here is how you can bless a little baby with their own little blanket for the holidays.


First off is selecting fabric. I went with anti-pill fleece from Joann's Fabric Store. They were having a sale so I got a yard of each fabric (plaid and stripes) for a total of $10. Grab some SHARP (please note the emphasis on that) scissors and binder clips and you are ready to go!


Cut off and nasty ends (I think the guy had used pruning shears to cut my fabric from the bolt) and trim the fabric to the size you want. Remember that the fringe will make the blanket part even smaller. Line your two separate yards of fabric up on top of each other and clip with the binder clips.


Next, you need to cut a square off from each corner to form the edge of the blanket. I realized this after I started cutting. The square you cut out and your fringe should all be the same length. I did mine about 6" long.

After cutting out the squares, lay something down that makes a straight line from one edge of the cut out square corner to the other. Then all you have to do is cut to that line to make your fringe. This will keep them about the same length. I recommend cutting either 1" strips or 1/2" stripes (I did 1/2"). 1/2" is easiest to do if you cut 1" strips first and then just snip those in half. This isn't an exact science so don't worry if you mess up a bit.


Now it is knot time! I have heard all different ways of making these blankets, some people say tie them separately then together others just tie them together. I really liked the look of a knot. I hope you can tell from this picture. I just tucked the ends pointing to the left back through the knot hole. Try to tie all the knots the same way for a really uniform look.


Make sure to work the knot back up to the beginning of the fringe before tightening down. You can leave the knots tight or loose, I chose tight.



And there you have it! A pretty, warm, snugly little blanket. These are so great because you can make different sizes. A yard of fabric makes a perfect stroller or car seat blanket that any baby would cherish (that is my best Martha Stewart impression).

I'm a Baby-Wearing Mama

Here is all the info so you can be one too:
Slinglings.com: Great slings plus custom sizing and fabric selection. They also have an excellent "how-to" tab. Priced at $44.99, I highly recommend these slings over any others.
I have longed for a customized BabyHawk carrier since before Jack was born...but at $80 a pop, they are a little out of our budget. Hmm one can dream!
This is the first carrier we had. It is great for longer walks and when you have to shop...the downside is that it takes a bit to get your baby in to it, especially when they are newborns.


(Action shot of newborn Jack in his little front pack.)

Who Knew Horsies Could Be So Busy!

Show me the books he loves and I shall know the man
far better than through mortal friends.
~ Dawn Adams

You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture.
Just get people to stop reading them.
~ Ray Bradbury

Children are made readers on the laps of their parents.
~ Emilie Buchwald

Before Busy Horsies, Sheep in a Jeep, and Mr. Brown Can Moo Can You?, I did read books. Real books with small print that didn't require mooing, scratching, sniffing, singing, dancing, or crazy voices to get through. Ohhh those were the days. Go on over and visit Anne at The City Sage to find out my five favorite books!

Auntie Jen...again!

I am an Aunt again! Yeah for me...and yeah for my brother and sister-in-law. I love babies.

Did I tell you that little Brooke has the sweetest older sister too? Brianna is really excited to be a big sis!

I Love Lamp. I Love Lamp.

I also LOVE our new table! I went to celebrate Turkey Day with the fam and scored some free furniture...life is good. Here is a before pic of our sad little depressed dining room.


And this is after! With a pretty new table donated to the "Decorate the Joseph's House Fund" by Jenny and Abe. Thanks guys! You can't see it in the pic, but the table was left out in the barn and has some warping and finish issues. However, I really like the look of that. Gives it some character and will save any grief when Jack (or Loran) puts the first big ding in it. One end has already been polished with bananas courtesy of Jack.

I am still on the fence about the chairs...they have black leather seats on them. Hmmm looking for some inspiration on that one.

Isn't this the coolest pendant lamp?!? I got it on sale at Pottery Barn for $49! Ok...I didn't find this great deal...Anne over at The City Sage spotted them. I bought three and am thinking that two would look good over the table. I would love to fit three in but there might be some overhang...any thoughts?

PS- No one say anything about our pretty indoor/outdoor calico carpet. It is a very, very, very sensitive subject.

Better Late Than Never...

What a great holiday weekend! I am just now getting caught up and starting to download pictures. Way too much fun. Here are some of the more interesting moments from "Thanksgiving with the Josephs".

Loran and Jack catching up on some father son time.

Now I know this picture does not look interesting whatsoever. It is simply my brother-in-law Abe at his computer. What you don't realize though, is that Abe has set up his microphones and is recording this...


...Sexy Beast! That is my husband in all his glory, or should I say, trying to rock the Tommy Lee drummer look...thank god Abe didn't have any leopard print speedos in his dresser. Also, thank god for gray Hanes boxer shorts because those pants have some mean plumber crack capabilities. They laid down the drum track for some new songs. If you haven't checked them out yet you can here! Go on and take a look. It will make me feel better after listening to nothing but drumming all weekend long.

Now on to the feast!
"Seriously?!? This is about as brilliant as the time you fed me chili."

Much more fun after giving it to his dad to eat all the meat off. We had to wrestle it away from him.

This is what happens when you leave a camera laying around. The funny thing is, I think he tried to take actual pictures but didn't manage to get anyone in the pictures.

Aunt Jenny teaching Jack how to play Texas Hold 'Em...


which slowly progressed to this game.

But Jack and I had hit the hay by then. We spent the rest of the night catching up on Elephants in the latest National Geographic. Happy Post-Thanksgiving everyone!